Well, I DID Have My Day in Court...

There's a saying that goes something like this : "He who represents himself in court, has a fool for a lawyer."
Well, to that you can add: "If you have a fool for a lawyer, don't go to court on a Friday the 13th!"
I thought my trial on Friday, Jan. 13, 2006, on a charge of careless driving, would be a piece of cake. Not only would I win but the judge would compliment me on my brilliant defense.
Boy, was I wrong! The judge was not impressed.
After stating that anything my chief witness might testify would be irrelevant, he found me guilty and fined me $405.
(An even worse hit came later when my insurance company cancelled my policy and I had to renew with an insurer who more than doubled the premium... )
Last September, I had been helping my brother on his sheep farm west of Edmonton. On the way home, I was driving south on 149th Street, following a Jeep station wagon.
As we approached 111th Avenue, the Jeep driver braked suddenly. I couldn't stop in time and rear-ended her vehicle.
The Jeep was basically undamaged because the spare tire on its back door cushioned most of the blow. But the front of my old Mazda MPV van was caved in, the radiator was broken and its fluid spilled on the road.
(My insurance company later wrote off the van and I ended up having to buy a new car -- our fabulous 2006 Honda Civic.)
When a cop arrived 80 minutes after my first call, he said he had no choice but to charge me with careless driving. But he said he didn't believe it was an appropriate charge and that I should contest it.
He said the police have been instructed by Alberta Justice that in all such accidents, careless driving is the only charge they can lay.
In a later interview, his superior, a sergeant, told me that since it's rarely possible to prove a charge of 'following too close', Alberta Justice has directed police to lay the more serious careless driving charge.
Those charged usually end up doing a deal with the crown prosecutor, agreeing to plead guilty to a lesser charge of following too close, thereby avoding a trial and the need for police time in court.
The traffic sergeant told me he was writing a report to the Solicitor General, recommending that the Alberta Safety Act should be amended to include a new charge midway in seriousness between careless driving and following too close.
I did subpoena him and the traffic court judge grudgingly allowed me to call him to the stand.
But he cautioned that the only matter before him was my careless driving charge. Whether the police disagree with laying that charge is irrelevant, he said.
When I put myself on the stand, I made what I later realized was a crucial tactical error.
When asked how much distance there was between our vehicles as we approached the intersection, I got flustered and quickly guessed about 60 feet. It was probably closer to 30 feet. But the crown prosecutor leaped and said if I couldn't stop with a 60-foot separation, then I was following too close. And he said the Alberta courts have ruled that following too close is evidence of careless driving.
The judge agreed with him and found me guilty.
Before going into court, I knew I could likely make a deal with the crown prosecutor and plead guilty to following too close. The fine would have been $175.
But I airily told the crown prosecutor that I preferred to go to trial. He shrugged and as much as said, 'have fun'.
Had I consulted a lawyer and had he not been a money-grubber, I would likely have been advised to go for a deal with the crown prosecutor.
It was an expensive lesson, all around...
But I'm convinced that Alberta Justice has devised a devious way of getting drivers to plead guilty to a charge that basically cannot be proved in court.
Instead of having to prove a charge of following too close, they charge drivers with a more serious offence, knowing that most will agree to plead guilty to the lesser charge.
It's a perversion of justice, in my opinion. But who am I, anyway --- just a fool!

That ("special dog") ...Maligne

If you phone my daughter in Vancouver and no one is home, the answering machine will kick in with a message from Toby that goes something like this:
"You have reached the NEW home of Sarah, Toby and Maligne (special dog) ... ."
When Toby www.seetobylive.com and Sarah www.tobyandsarah.com began their relationship a few years ago, she made it very clear that it was a package deal that included Maligne, who is now a huge part of their life.
I guess Sarah inherited a love of pets from me. We had a succession of dogs ("Lady" in particular) and cats that met various untimely ends when I was a boy.
Sarah's first dog was a lively little Heinz 57 mutt that I acquired about 1981 while on assignment for the Edmonton Journal.
It involved a story about a Canadian Coastguard tug making its annual spring trip down the Athabasca River from Fort McMurray to Lake Athabasca and then down the Slave River to Fort Fitzgerald on the Northwest Territories border.
Large barges were then being operated out of Fort McMurray to supply the uranium mine and townsite at Uranium City, Sask. on the east end of Lake Athabasca.
The Coastguard tug Miskew would open the shipping season by going down the two rivers and marking problem sandbars with buoys. The crew would also stop at every bend to set out a navigation marker on the river bank.
When the trip ended at the Fort Fitzgerald Coastguard base, I saw a little black and white pup scampering around. The tug captain said to take him because he would only get caught in someone's trap, anyway.
Fitz (seen in the above picture taken in the Porcupine Hills, west of my parents' Claresholm home) was a much-loved part of our household while I was a single Dad. He and Sarah came as a package when Joan and I got married in 1986.
At the ripe old doggy age of about twelve, Fitz went to that place in the sky where delicious, stinky bones are buried everywhere.
When Sarah began living on her own, she went looking for a dog at the Edmonton pound and found Maligne, a sort of husky cross.
Sarah was then heavily-involved in whitewater kayaking and named her dog after the river that drains Maligne Lake in Jasper park.
Maligne has a kid's personality, curiosity and a lively intelligence . She always has a happy, tongue-lolling grin and turns heads and triggers smiles wherever she goes for a walk.
Sarah lavished affection on her, giving her obedience lessons, the best veterinary care and only high quality, pelletized dog food.
She takes Maligne everywhere, even kayaking and hiking.
I love to go for walks with Maligne who adores chasing cloth frisbees, tennis balls, squirrels etc.
When I took her with me on a couple of canoe trips last year, she would sit regally at the bow, calmly watching the scenery.
It's hilarious seeing her plunge into the water after a stick, coming out looking like a drowned rat before vigorously shaking herself off.
She knows some fine tricks, including "high five", shake-a-paw and roll over. But her specialty is chasing cloth frisbees. She goes racing after them, leaping and catching them in mid-air 90 per cent of the time.
I like to take her to the Crestwood School playground near our home. It's surrounded by a chain link fence which has three or four small openings for kids to use without having to go to the main entrance.
When I toss the frisbee into the playground, Maligne scoots along the fence until she finds an opening, leaps through and then goes looking and sniffing for the frisbee.
Sarah and Toby moved to Vancouver in July where they managed to find a dog-friendly rental house owned by a couple who are now out of the country.
Anyone who knows Sarah well knows she doesn't do anything by halves. To counter landlords wary of pets, she had prepared a " doggy resume" that listed all Maligne's good and bad points (very few of those).
Maligne, Toby and Sarah and they have fitted in very well in Vancouver. But there was one nasty surprise.
One of Maligne's bad points is that when she sees a cat, no amount of yelling will stop her from chasing after it.
A couple of months after the move, Sarah let Maligne out for a pee just before bed time. Maligne spotted a black and white 'cat' in the shadows and went for it.
You got it. It was no cat. The skunk gave Maligne both barrels right in the face and the household was soon in an uproar. There was a rush trip to an all-night vet centre where they got some enzyme product to deodorize her.
But apparently she still exudes a whiff of 'eau de skunk' if her fur gets wet. As the old Swede said, "too soon vee get old; too late vee get schmart!"

What Good is A Golf Course In Winter?

Well, for one thing, there are no golfers cluttering up the place.
And those carefully-mowed fairways are great for skiing with a covering of as little as two or three inches of snow.
I've skiied on Edmonton's golf courses -- Victoria, Riverside, Rundle, Mill Woods and the Edmonton Golf and Country Club for more than 30 years.
Of course, I'd rather be out in the mountains. But when they're a five-hour drive away, you have to find alternatives.
The photo above shows my daughter, Sarah, and her "special dog" Maligne at the Golf and Country Club last January when snow conditions were great.
Riverside and Victoria are used by a lot of skiers but Victoria is by far the busiest with tracks set by Edmonton Parks and Recreation staff. Racers from the university are there every day when snow conditions are good.
I prefer to set my own track.
Machine-set tracks are too wide and too uniform for my liking. And the track setters generally show little imagination as far as choosing a route that maximizes the terrain to make the views and 'climbs' and glides interesting.
My routes go past and through clumps of trees, especially evergreens, to give a kind of 'wilderness' illusion. They take in any sidehills, bumps, berms or depressions I can find. And they're never straight, always tracing long, sensuous curves so that the view always changes.
I was one of the founding members of the Edmonton Nordic Ski Club back around 1971 when we promoted moonlight ski trips at Victoria to pique people's curiosity.
With all the city lights reflecting off clouds, there's no problem seeing where to go. And when there's a full moon, it's fantastic.
The cold is no problem when you have a good, wind-resistant anorak over a pile jacket. Cross country skiers generate a lot of heat. The faster you go, the warmer you get.
Victoria has a couple of side hills where you can crank out half a dozen telemark turns. Mill Woods has a great tele slope facing north toward Whitemud Drive.
But my favorite course is the Edmonton Golf and Country Club which borders a high bank of the North Saskatchewan River with wonderful views out over the river and Terwillegar Park.
Oddly enough, it has very little use, although in my opinion it provides the best skiing within a 50 km radius of the city. That includes the Blackfoot Grazing Reserve and Elk Island National Park.
It's bisected by a deep ravine with a suspension bridge for golf carts.
The eastern half has some wonderful terrain extending out from the club house between the access road and the river valley. If you're really energetic, you can ski down to a big, flat flood plain below the golf course and opposite Terwillegar Park.
The west half has a fantastic overlook to Terwillegar Park and some very good up and down terrain that includes another deep ravine.
There are a lot of deer, rabbits and birds. Occasionally, I see coyotes. One day I saw what I'm convinced was a wolf.
Unfortunately, as I write this on New Year's Day, 2006, we're in the clutches of a mild, snow-less winter with no end in sight. I haven't been able to go out once so far this winter.
The organizers of the big "Birkiebeiner" cross country competition in mid-February at the Blackfoot must be tearing their hair out...

Winning Big Bucks at Jasper Place Curling Rink

Well, I guess I'll have to turn pro...
Look carefully at my left hand and you'll see the loot I won at the December/'05 Senior Men's Bonspiel at Jasper Place Curling Rink.
Twelve teams were assembled from the senior men's leagues at the Jasper Place and Crestwood Curling Clubs.
Over three days from Dec. 28 to 30 we played eight games and only lost one. (Actually, that's a bit of a lie because we tied in five of our six round robin games which involved four ends each with no tie-breaker...)
We moved from the round robin into the main semi-final game which we lost and then won the main consolation game.
The team from left is Ian Inglis, 63, who I've known since I was in university; Andy Anderson, 82, skip; Art Platten, 83, lead (he was the contractor when the rink was built in 1959) and yours truly, 64, second.
While both Andy and Art have to use "extenders" to deliver their rocks and Art is unable to sweep because of his arthritis, together they have about 100 years experience and are very good tacticians.
Curling is obviously a life-long sport.
If you can no longer bend down to deliver your rocks, you can use an extender -- a stick with a plastic sleeve on one end which fits over the handle of the rock. A lot of these guys are just deadly with extenders.
Several belong to an Edmonton club of senior curlers with a minimum age of 80 years!
Two of the guys on the team we played against in our final game have limited vision and use binoculars to scope out the house at the other end of the sheet before delivering their rocks.
It's only my second year of curling but I'm doing pretty well (usually as second). I couldn't play except as a spare in most the fall season because of my surgery in mid-October.
But starting this month, I'll play every Tuesday and Friday morning at the Crestwood rink near where we live. And I'll curl some Mondays as a spare at with the City Church Curling League at the Shamrock rink.
In mid-January, my older brother, Garnet, and I will join our younger brother David at a bonspiel at the tiny Seba Beach rink. It's near where David and his partner, Jane, have a menagerie of livestock and dogs on their farm overlooking Wabamun Lake.